Saturday, August 8

We're off to see the movie, the wonderful movie of Joe.

Yesterday was awesome.
It started out not so awesome.
It ended with shrimp, pasta, and a blackout... and it was still awesome.

Andrew and I woke up and Jeff had stayed over. I was feeling restless, though. We'd spent hours the night before playing WoD, as well as hours on the computer, and then I spent another couple of hours on the computer that morning and I just couldn't take it any more. It was about noon, and I remembered the boots at Rue21 that I had fallen in love with (I'd also been ogling them online for an hour, lol) and decided I needed to go take a closer look, try them on, all of that, and maybe buy them if they were really what I was looking for in a boot, which is to say how well they fit, whether they could withstand cold weather, and if I could think, off the top of my head, of any two outfits they would go with, because to be honest, the best way to hook yourself into spending money is to buy something you can't wear with anything you own... so you have to buy something else to go with the first thing, then so on. Never ending, crazy cycle. Bad idea.

Anyway, I decided I needed to get out, go, DO something, and Andrew didn't want to. He was perfectly fine in his semi-vegetative video game state. Jeff was the same, there was nothing they wanted but to sit there, and I thought about it for a second. My first, very first thought, was, "Oh, well, I'll call Megan." But I caught myself and realized that, no, I can't call Megan. She can't come with me. In fact, I really have NO ONE to come with me. Yes, before you say it, there is Teresa, but the trouble there is that we're friends, but not that close yet. We haven't hung out alone more than once, and even then, it was Brandon and Andrew in one room and us in another, not really just us girls. So I went to the bedroom to lie down on the bed and before I knew it, the tears were just pouring because I finally figured out that there's no family here. There's just Andrew, who is a wonderful and understanding man, but still a man. I don't have my friends here. I have never, ever, in my entire life been without my friends. I don't care where my parents are. I'm not close to them, not since I was a little girl that needed them, and that stopped not long after puberty, when it became clear that half the time, I was the one making the better decisions on life. But my friends, the Paul I call when I just need to talk, the David I take with me to do something nerve-wracking, the Megan that is always always always there, for any need, and especially for WalMart at 2 AM to get pie for the drunk Marine.... they're on the other side of the country, what might as well be the other side of the world, really, for all the similarities between TN and AZ, and I don't know how to work without them, how to function. They're everything that has ever kept me stable and everything that kept me sane when Andrew was gone. But they're not here and all of a sudden yesterday, I just felt so very alone. So I cried, and Andrew came in to me and held me for a while and apologized for bringing me out here and claimed he was a bad husband for it. I told him no. I could have stayed. I wouldn't have but I could have. I had the option, the choice, and I made it willingly. I just didn't quite grasp the entire experience, not even on that ridiculously long drive over here.

So I battled with myself a while, texted Teresa and made the conscious choice again to make the best of my circumstances. Life is hard; that's alright. I'll make it. I got together with Teresa, and we had a really awesome time. We just went and talked, and shopped and tried on clothes... it was great. I had fun, and I think we got closer. We're more like friends than we were before. God knows I could use a friend here, but thinking on it, He certainly gave me one before I realized I needed it. Other than, of course, my goof-ball cockatiel that is desperately trying to get my attention right now. But he was bad, he flew away from Mama, so he's grounded... er, caged, I suppose.

But about the day with Teresa. I think we talked about everything on the planet, clothes and our husbands, tan lines, babies, household items, furniture, guys wearing pink, the mist coming off the river, how we clicked so well, how we call each other's husbands by their last names (which I'm careful of not putting here if I can help it, so you'll see everyone referred to by their first names, even Jeff and Brandon, who I don't call Jeff or Brandon, LOL) because that's the way we were introduced, and military life, benefits and challenges, and anything else. We had coffee and chocolate in Border's, and she told me about going walking every day with her Mother in Law. I asked if I could come, because lately, even though I know I'm not fat, I'm not feeling good about my body. I'm having a lot of trouble liking myself right now, and the best way to change that is to feel like I'm doing something positive about it. I'm looking forward to it; lately, I've been feeling restless and in need of activity of some kind. Andrew gets PT every morning. The most physical thing I do is haul laundry back and forth: not a lot. Obviously, feeling not so good about myself and feeling like I need more active pursuits means that I need more active pursuits. It's God and His Universe saying, "Helen, get off your lazy butt and do something once in a while, given that your hubby is busy running himself out of his boots and you're sleeping in, taking long baths, and playing Sims!"

It was a good day, but it got better, although for a while there, it kinda sucked. Teresa and I stayed out for about 8 hours straight. I took her home, and when I did, it was 8 PM: I'd made plans with Andrew earlier in the day to go to dinner with him and Jeff. By the time I got home, it was seriously late, Jeff had a migraine again, and Andrew almost didn't want to go. Heck, by then, I almost didn't want to go, but we took Jeff and all of his stuff home and then went down the road to Ruby Tuesday's, which, lo and behold was open at 9:00 at night, until midnight! So we ate there, and those were the leftovers I had this morning. Besides that I had a headache and he didn't feel very good, as well as it was late, we had a good time and when we came out, there were flying ants all over the car, but also a new friend.

At home, we pretty much were done for the day, but we walked down to check the mail together under the moonlight, which was pretty. It should be full soon too, and that's always a nice time for a walk. We went to bed, but in the middle of it all, the power suddenly went out. There were people outside partying in their trucks, making lots and lots of noise, but eventually the lights came back on, after Andrew and I had to save a cricket (who was walking on the ceiling, which I explained to said cricket was not the best idea, as we almost squished him, thinking he was a spider) with a fly swatter, two flashlights and a plastic cup. Now that was interesting, added to by the fact that I was uh... rather unclothed for the episode, lol.

Today was pretty awesome, too. We opened our new account at the bank, received our temporary cards, and the lady was very nice and very helpful. We took Jeff to the PX and the commissary, too, because he said he needed food and stuff, which was actually not bad since we went in this time, rather than sit in the car like last time we took him, because Andrew said we needed to get a squeegee. The car windows fog up so much in the morning from all the humidity that neither of us can see out of. No squeegee was found, nor any Naked juice that we liked, so us going in was moot. We headed back home after that so Jeff could call his mom, and Andrew and I could get something to eat that wasn't candy or popcorn at the theater :D Which is where we're headed next, to go watch the GI Joe movie. I've heard it's good, even if it is almost completely action. It should be fun.

1 comment:

  1. What's up everyone watching that movie? LOL. I have no interest in it...and I LOVE action movies.

    Anywho...thanks for following my blog. I look forward to getting to know you better. Comment often because it reminds me to read your blog.


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