Thursday, August 6

Antnie is the best name ever.

So I'm finally getting to write here. I think I've had this page sitting here for the past two hours or so, just waiting til I got sufficiently tired of doing whatever it is that I have been doing. Unfortunately, it wasn't so much getting tired of it as it was just getting most of it done. I've gone through three loads of laundry, washed dried and put away (almost-- towels are sitting to my left), three sinkfuls of dishes, made lunch, and you know, when I type it out, not too much... except that laundry means a five minute walk to the other side of the apt. complex with two jugs of detergent, a basket full of heavy towels and ACU's, and three loads means I've done that three times, in 83 F weather with 63% humidity... there's more water in the air than there's air in the air! It's like walking into a swamp cooler.

Andrew's battle buddy Jeff is here today, tonight, and probably also most of tomorrow. We're going to be playing World of Darkness, which is a roleplay similar to D&D, but set in a modern world, with modern limits and expectations. The fact that makes it a fantasy RPG is that it includes such things as vampires, werewolves, there's a mage section that we really haven't gotten into yet, prometheans which are something like Frankenstein, and just random other odd, creepy, scary occurances. It's games like this that make me realize how much I love my husband, in spite of and possibly because of the freaky weird things his brain can come up with: for instance, I recently played and had a nervous breakdown in the game, to the point that I took a shower and thought I saw blood instead of water. I ran screaming from the bathroom and climbed into bed, dripping... with water. And this is one of the less mean things he's offered Jeff and I, lol. But to think that he could think of things that scary makes me wonder exactly how bad his nightmares really are.

So, Meg is supposed to come out for training in Nashville in September, but I don't think she's gonna make it. I'm a little disappointed, I wanted to be able to show her some of the stuff around here, as well as take her to some of the museums, possibly the Bell Witch Cave, all that good stuff, plus my ducky was coming with her, and Lord knows, I need to see my ducky. That little girl is my whole life, and I miss her so much. I try not to think about it, because, just like now, it makes me cry. The day we left almost killed me, because we went over to Matt and Megan's to say goodbye and I woke Ducky up and held her for a while, and it was like she knew I was leaving because usually when you try to hold her for any period of time, she'll squirm away. After all, she's a big 2 year old girl and doesn't need to be held, but when I held her that morning, she tucked her arms in and layed her head down and held me right back for a good 10 minutes. Then Andrew came and it was time to go and I kissed her, and she heard someone say, "Go" and she perked right up and lifted her arms to me and said, "Antnie, go buh bye!" and I broke down. I was fine, I wasn't gonna cry and then wham, tears and tears and tears. Which brings me to the fact that if she can't come to me in September, I'll go to her for Ducky's birthday. She'll be a whole 2 on October 6, but I remember the day she was born like it was yesterday and the night before and the day before that (yes, it took that long, AND she was a week late). No... I need to see her again soon, but God help me when I try to leave again...

When I came back from Maryland, when I went to see Andrew during his 4 day, Meg and Ducky picked me up at the airport and she ran right to me, arms open wide, as I came down the stairs from the terminals, saying, "Antnie, Antnie, Antnie!" and I dropped two bags picking her up.

I suppose I should get off my butt and off of here, but I don't want to. I've been working all day, I should be allowed to relax, but I still have stuff to do. Then I'll take a break.

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