Ah, Thursday. Day of Writers' Workshops. I was born on a Thursday...they say, "Thursday's child has far to go." Seriously, isn't Tennessee and all of it's odd weather far enough?? The only thing further for me would probably be India...but at least it gets hot there.
But I digress. Brace yourself, this is gonna be a whopper.
Alexes did it.. I bet that if she wasn't having red and green food for Advent dinner, Michelle would do it. Therefore, I am gonna be a follower today and use one of Mama Kat's Famous Writers' Workshop Prompts :D
(Boy, I am just full of linky goodness today, aren't I?)
Dear Santa Claus,
This is not my best year. In fact, this might be the craziest year of my life so far, and given that you see me when I'm sleeping, when I'm awake, when I'm actually supposed to be sleeping but am instead awake doing ungodly things in the middle of the night....*ahem* Sorry, let's continue....you know that life so far for me hasn't exactly been --how shall I put this?-- SANE?
Ere-go, I've got quite the list for you. I don't doubt you can do it, but whether or not I merit it is still in question. I'm not really all that nice. Hence the snarky letter you're receiving atm. (That's chatspeak, means "at the moment". I'm sure you knew that. Mrs. Claus probably texts you like a madwoman when you're out with the reindeer doing whatever it is you do with them on the off season...)
First, though, I want to say thank you. It's been rather a while since I wrote. In fact, I was about 13-ish, and madly in love with Justin. I thought, heck why not? and asked you for a boyfriend that would love me "at least as much as he loves himself". Got that line from a book by Lynn Kurland. She's awesome, btw, I recommend her to the Mrs. wholeheartedly. Well, Santa dear, you delivered. In fact, you old over-achiever you, I didn't just get a boyfriend from the deal. I got an entire lifetime goober! =D Said goober is at work right now, but I'm sure he sends his love. He wants CODMW2 for the 360. (Again, I'm sure you're familiar with all of these acronyms by now. My life seems to be filled with them these days. That one there is Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Like we need another bang bang you're dead game around these parts, right? Because I don't already hear REAL gunfire when I go get a gallon of milk at the commissary, right?? *facepalm*)
So yes. Thank you. I loved him. He came at a weird time though. October? I mean... really? But it's made up for by his original plan to propose on Christmas....too bad that didn't go through. Friggin Army. But thank you =D I'll keep him for a good long while, feed him, all that good stuff. Unlike the Nano Baby that was in my stocking one year. I... *sniffle* I don't talk about Onan often. It hurts too much...*wipes nose on shirt*
This year, Santa Baby, I want a yacht. No, I'm joking. I can't swim. Why would I want a boat??
No, I want to win the lottery. Here is my plan. I want to win the Tennessee Lottery and move back to Arizona. Then, I want to with the Arizona Lottery. With both winnings, I plan to buy a little ranch somewhere around Oracle. Maybe... hmm, maybe somewhere off behind Great Grampa's old house. I wanna get a pair of good, sturdy saddle horses, a mare and a stallion preferably, one white and brown paint and the other a nice deep brown... oh, or one of the tan ones, with the black manes and feet. I'll plant watermelons and daisies and lavender and strawberries in my garden, as well as beautiful tall Ponderosa pines, like G. Grampa did for the Forest Service. We'll get a white Jeep Wrangler, and a nice sports car for Andrew. 350Z should do, dark metallic blue, and makes sure our road is mostly paved so that it doesn't hurt the suspension on it.
And the house we can have specially built. Two stories, with lots of open space and big windows... and a wide, open staircase so I don't have crazy vertigo like at Camp and Teresa's. Wood floors with big, soft rugs (the kind that don't slip, lol, you know me, Santa...) and a big kitchen, with an island in the middle that has a sink. Stainless steel fridge, one of those cool ovens that are stacked on top of each other, like the one in Mr. and Mrs. Smith. But I won't keep guns in mine. Oh, no, they will be fully functional, and fully used. The house will have to have at least 4 bedrooms, but we should probably mark that up to 6 bedrooms. We have a lot of family, and I know that eventually, someone will want to come stay with us. Six bedrooms, a kitchen, a dining room, a living room, a family room, and probably 3 bathrooms. Or maybe 2.5....definitely want one in the master bedroom, with a big clawfoot tub that I could (hypothetically) drown in. I don't really want to drown. I wouldn't be able to enjoy all of this as a ghost.
We could then have our three beautiful children that will have my coloring and Andrew's eyes...but probably need glasses and classes on how to move gracefully. I'll take them with the kids, for that matter, I could use a little extra grace... Oh, and a husky we'll call Hank Jr. and a Great Dane I want to call Clyde. Or Clementine. Cats, too, we need two, not including our lovely Kahlan, and maybe Diddles. But two cats usually turns into 12 cats eventually, so two breedable kitties will do fine.
Yes, Santa. I want all that for Christmas. It doesn't have to be this Christmas. I understand that some things take time, and I can imagine that the lottery, in two states nonetheless, could be tricky. But I'm confident that if we had both lotteries, we'd be able to pull all that off just fine. Oh, one more simple wish, though....could you pay for our schooling? I mean, if the lotteries don't cover it. I want to be a Midwife. Andrew is looking for something, but he would love to be a wolf rehabilitation expert.Then we would be able to afford all of this once the lottery dough runs out.
But... if you can't get me any of that, can you just make Andrew realize we need to move to better apartments? I'll take my life as it comes, Santa, but maybe living somewhere NOT filled with bugs (the crawling ones and the ones that you can fix) would make me very happy.
PS. I know we moved, but if you could please bring our gifts in whatever form to Leslie and Chip's house in Arizona on Christmas Eve, we'd sorely appreciate it. For some reason, Grandpa Cavanagh doesn't want us at his house on Christmas Eve, so we're headed for the ranch instead. Be careful on the road. Grand Pappy Wash is a doozy in the winter time, even if you are flying over it. And remember, it's just after the Chapparel steakhouse on the Florence Highway. See you around when we have kids of our own :D