Monday, August 31

Wake me up, when September ends.

So, it's about that time of year again, the beginning of September. The start of fall in most parts of the world and the end of summer in Tucson. Last night, I walked out of my house to do laundry and I swear, I almost walked right back in for my sweater, but I decided to buck up and just get on with it. My teeth only chattered a little bit by the time I got to the laundromat (which, I must tell you, for most of my life I have said, "laundry-mat" and I'm about to start typing it that way, too).

But the reason I bring up this time of year is because it gets me to thinking about those long years ago when Andrew and I met. I won't say when we met and fell in love, because looking back on it, we didn't. We fell into crush, and possibly even puppy love, but the love we have now came later in the relationship and I believe it's stronger for the wait. Our relationship is a very long story, made longer by the fact that once I get started, I just keep putting out little random things that I remember, things that have absolutely no significance to our story, but bring me to smiles and tears every time, I loved those moments that much.

About this time 7 years ago, he and I were constant companions. We talked every night, for hours on hours, and I spent my days at the high school hungrily searching the halls on the off-chance that maybe, just maybe, he had to sneak into the general population again for his father and I would catch even the most fleeting glimpse of him as he slipped amongst the public school students. He was homeschooled, but his father taught in the jr. high, which was just an extension of the high school, really, and his father is and was an airhead who forgot stuff regularly. So, since the older boys were actually in public school, Andrew was sent out on his bike to dodge truancy officers, teachers, principles, and ratty teachers' aides to the foreign soil of public education. I, the romantic that I am, with the HUGE crush on him that I still have, pictured clandestine meetings outside a friendly teacher's room, and even though we weren't dating, he would see me and be so happy and suddenly enamored that he'd kiss me right there (let's break ALL the rules with this daydream, shall we?) and then be gone with the blink of an eye... *sigh* Man, those were good days... and the start of fall takes me right back there every single time. If I were at home, I'd be leaving the house in the early early morning to see if I could smell autumn on the air yet with the dew, but here? I don't know what here smells like yet. Maybe in a year I'll recognize the difference in the air, in the feel of things... stop and think about it. Haven't you ever gone outside one day in the early fall or the start of winter or the very first day of spring and taken a deep breath? You can feel the change in the air on your lips, through your nose, in your lungs. It can wrap up your whole body if you let it. Try it. It's an amazing feeling.

Of course, September is also about the time when I start dropping hints. He's got a little over a month to figure out what happens on our anniversary, whether he wants to plan something or not. I have had my idea for over three months now. All I have to do is start setting it up when he's not around, and that's pretty easy: he's always gone during the day. I won't put it here, in case somehow he actually reads my blog (miracle of miracles that would be) and ruins the surprise. I will, though, tell you what I'm hoping for this year and it's a realistic expectation lately.

I want flowers.

That's all I want. He has never ever given me flowers. In fact, the only person that ever has was my mother, for my high school graduation, and it was a red rose and a white rose dyed blue, the team colors, that they were selling for $10 at the local flower shop. I'm grateful, oh very, because they were my first flowers, but it took very little thought on her part. If he could give me a few daisies, even the little wild white ones he picked himself, I would cry like a baby. That is all I want from him for our anniversary. I'll do the rest, no problem, I always do.

So I've been telling him for close to a year that I've never gotten flowers from him and when I went to see him in Aberdeen, he was going to, but couldn't find a flower shop. I'm thinking pretty hard that I might be getting flowers for our 1st wedding anniversary and our 7th year together. And I am going to cry.

Anyway, just a little post to tell you my thoughts on Fall.

1 comment:

  1. Okay...take a tip from me. TELL HIM exactly what you want.

    I give lists...with my favorite things at the top of the list. And I remind...then I am NOT disappointed if he forgets.

    Listen, guys minds work differently. No matter how much they love us...and they do...they just arent programmed like we are. if you know there is even a slight chance you wont get what you want...tell him loud and clear.

    I've only been married 5 years, but I ALWAYS tell him now.


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